"VB Wizard"
Ever since he started coding
private variables he lacks
from a new project to a rebuild
his code is filled with hacks
uses him a listbox
instead of using stacks
as a visual basic coder
he don't know the basic facts

He sits there in his cubicle
and stares at his machine
surfs to thedailywtf
and copies the latest routine
he has no working knowledge
of Win32 API calls
The damn VB coder
can sure make a CPU stall

He's a VB wizard 
there's got to be a THEN
A VB wizard
got so much global DIMs

How do you make a linked list?
He don't know
There's so many damn GOTOs

Codes by intuition
don't need no design doc
his variable names are frigthning
his code a pile of schlock
I've never seen a app
written quite this way
That goddamn VB coder
just got an increase in pay

I thought I saw him use OPTION EXPLICIT
but he was just trying to redefine it

Even within standard code rules
he can turn out muck
the discipline he lacks
is made up for by luck
He's got crazy ways of coding
and if that isn't all
His pointy haired manager
just gave him the office down the hall

He's a VB wizard 
there's got to be a THEN
A VB wizard
got so much global DIMs


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"Tommy can you OOP it"

And Tommy doesn't know what casting is
He doesn't know reflection or inheritance
how can he be saved
from being a VB slave?